I started babysitting when I was 11 and babysat until I graduated college. Between 11 & 18 it was pocket money and "special stuff that mom and dad aren't going to buy me" money. The summer of my sophomore year of college, it was "I want to go to NYC for a week in August" money. I worked at a playground for two college summers, teaching kids about sportsmanship, chess, arts & crafts and whatever life lessons they chose to ask me about.
It is constantly amazing to me that I was 36 before I actually settled into a job I was pretty much born to do. I work with kids who are emotionally and behaviorally challenged. Now, writing is my passion - the reason I get out of bed and sit at my computer for any number of hours a day. Kids...kids are a calling, I guess. I'm compelled to write, want to write, need to write. I love working with these kids in the hopes of making a difference...even if it's only to one kid.
Which brings me to today. I work 11:30pm until 8am (EST)...I LOVE the overnight shift. As a general rule, it's quiet and I can get some writing done, talk to friends who live on the other coast (and in the central and mountain time zones), catch up on my webcomics (questionable content, something*positive, punch an' pie, penny and aggie, least I could do, looking for group) and my games (Kingdom of Loathing, Tanoth, Sryth). At 6:15am, I start waking kids up. Usually...this is a fairly straightforward and well-oiled routine thing. Wake 1 kid at 6:15, 2 at 6:30, 1 at 7, 1 at 7:30 - this varies depending on the number of kids we have (we're only at 5 kids, capacity is 8), their ages (7-14) and what time they have to be at school (right now, 2 leave at 7:15, 3 leave at 7:55). Kids do their hygeine (brush teeth and comb hair, wash face, put deodorant on), get dressed, go down and get breakfast then come back up and wait to leave for school.
Child #5 decided today that he wasn't going to school. Why? Because he didn't get up at 7:25 when he was woken up and asked to. He didn't get up until 7:45. This means he doesn't have time to eat breakfast here, he has to take it "to go". He is not being refused breakfast, he's simply being told that he needs to get his hygeine done and get dressed, then he'll be given his bagel in a baggie to take to school and eat. Now, mind you, most of the kids at the school eat breakfast AT SCHOOL...I'm pretty sure our kids are the only ones who don't. So this isn't a big deal, he's not going to get in any kind of trouble or get made fun of. He became angry, threw his hygeine bin and went back to bed. It's 8:55am and he's still in bed, refusing to get up.
Now, I'm pretty sure there's more going on here than just a late start. These kids are, after all, behaviorally and emotionally challenged. They have problems most of us can't even imagine...and have seen and done things that most of us never will (if we're lucky). The kids in this home are supposed to be getting ready to go home...unfortunately, someone messed up and the kids we have right now - have no homes to go to, they're also not ready to go even if they had them. Their lives are pretty unstable and when "staff" is the most constant thing in their life, it's got to be unsettling and scary. It's all so impermanent. So I try to be patient and nurturing and caring. There is a wall in front of my labeled "STRENGTHS" with a myriad of posters in bright colors with staff and children's names on them. My name is there and my strength (chosen by one of the kids that was here when I started) is PATIENCE. Ms. Kraus is PATIENT. And so I am, usually. Today? Not so much. I keep repeating to myself that he has problems, stuff going on that he's trying to deal with blah blah blah.
However, I am annoyed. They tell you to leave your personal life outside the "office" and I'm pretty good at doing that. But this has been a trying week outside of work, it's Thursday, it's now 9am and I'm exhausted because I haven't slept all week and want to go home and put my jammies on (yes, this is me whining). And this child won't get out of his bed and GO TO SCHOOL. My patience is fast wearing thin and I'm hoping someone gets in soon. Oh, wait, the person coming in has to go pick up the kid that's running a fever at school. The kid who told me she wasn't feeling well this morning but who I had to send to school because I am not allowed to keep kids home. That's right...42 years old and my judgment about when not to send a kid to school isn't deemed sound. All kids, no matter what, have to go to school because of the staffing situation. If they get sick at school, they can go to the nurse and someone will have to go pick them up. Crazy, right? Kid #1 actually woke up crying this morning, I could see she wasn't feeling well (and she's not one to try and wiggle out of school)...but I had to send her to school. So my annoyance was already notched up because I felt so badly (I am really no good at seeing a kid cry) about sending this kid to school. Meanwhile...perfectly healthy kid #5 is laying in bed. Yes...grr. argh.
So, I am annoyed. Annoyed about kid #1, annoyed at kid #5 and annoyed with the folks that are supposed to be here AT 8AM JUST IN CASE shit like this happens. Remember? Kids are EMOTIONALLY AND BEHAVIORALLY CHALLENGED...there are days like this...there are going to be days like this and at 8am I am tired...it is the end of my shift and I want to get out of here because I have been up all night and I am tired and my eyes hurt and I'm getting cranky and the odds of me keeping my patience is rapidly deteriorating and all I want to do is yank Kid #5 out of bed and kick his ass all the way to school. Of course, this is not something I have ever done or will ever do. I know (intellectually) that this will not solve the problem.
But it just might amuse me.
Think That'll Do It,
Laurie
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment