(tentatively titled)
Starting Over
Taking a deep breath, he walked in, smile on his face.
“Hi honey,” he said, dropping a light kiss on her cheek before settling into the chair next to her. The beeps kept him company, as they always did. A muted television and distant echoes of an intercom were also ever-present. The kids had never been allowed – he wouldn't have allowed them even if they had been.
“Rob and Rick got accepted to the same school in New Hampshire. They're excited. They're doing well, hon. Really well. Jimmy's ten now, can you believe it? He's doing well in school finally. Janice has been a great help. With Leah, too, actually. She's not getting into fights anymore. She'll be twelve next week...but you knew that. They've got some friends now, they're not as withdrawn and sad and scared.” He prattled on watching her eyes, her face, waiting for a reaction. When none came, he continued. “Honey...there's no easy way to say this...” the first tear slid down his face unnoticed, the ones that followed, ignored. “I – I filed the papers today. You must think I'm a heartless bastard and I don't blame you but,” he hesitated – how much should he tell her? “I've met someone else Cassie. I didn't mean for it to happen. It was at one of the group meetings...” he trailed off again, still watching her for some reaction. And still, none came.
“Her name is Anna, she has twins, a boy and a girl, about Jimmy's age and they get along well. Leah's turning into a wonderful young woman. I – I talked to Janice and she thought it would be okay. It's been five years Cass...and I love you as I've always loved you. But ...you're not the you you were anymore. God, I know that sounds so shallow and I'm sorry.” He bent over, sobbing, his head against her thigh. He hadn't expected this to be easy, nor had he expected it to be this hard. He remembered their first date, she'd spilled grape juice on him at lunchtime. They'd been six at the time. That's how long he'd loved her, forty years and married for twenty two of them. It wasn't supposed to end like this. They were supposed to grow old – together. Rocking chairs and grandbabies and stories of their life together. Not like this, never like this. Her hand absently stroked his head. He knew it meant nothing but it made him sob harder.
Finally, he straighted up and drew a ragged breath, dragging his hand over his face, wiped away the treacherous tears. “Thing is Cass, I can't come anymore. My company is in rough shape and they've transferred me to Boston. Janice promised she'd still come around and visit. I'll be sure to send her pictures of the kids for you.” He sighed. Her had had fallen back into her lap when he sat up and her eyes were still vacant. “The house is on the market and the divorce,” he voice caught in his throat, “will be final next week. We're moving at the end of the month.” It was May now, trees were in bloom and green and the world seemed full of promise, the perfect time of year to start over.
He stood up and kissed her cheek again, pausing briefly with his head against her temple. “I'll always love you Cassie,” he said softly before turning and walking to the door and knocking to be let out. He looked back one last time before before the door closed behind him. As he walked down the corridor and out the front door of the Shelton Institute for the Criminally Insane, he felt the hairs on the back of his neck prickle and looked back and up at the window that housed his wife. She was standing in the window, hand pressed against the pane, a smile that looked more like a snarl twisted her lips. He couldn't see them very well, but he knew that the insanity burned in her previously vacant eyes. He stood there, looking up at her wondering if they'd ever know why. If she'd ever be lucid enough to tell them, if she'd even remember what she'd done. Tearing himself away, he headed to the parking lot. He had one more stop to make but decided he'd put that off for another day. He'd had enough of today.
Think That'll Do It
Laurie
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