Observations

I travel around this innerweb quite frequently and I've been in deep in various communities and lightly skimmed the surface of others. I've watched how people interact in chat rooms, on blogs, and in other medium. I've noticed a few different kinds of themes

The people who pour their love out for another person, these are the people who are usually married to someone other than the intended. For some reason, single people don't pour out a ton of emotion. I wonder why that is.

The people who are convinced he/she is dominant and submissive, but have never experienced either D/s or any type of BDSM in real life. While I do not discount the intent, and the power exchange that occurs, it does occur to me that an online dominant wouldn't know his/her way around a flogger or other weapon of mass excitement. It's easy to pour out words on a screen (I'm doing it right now) and it's easy to accept and long for words on a screen, but take for a moment what that is doing. It's fulfilling a need/desire, something that for whatever reason can't be fulfilled in your non online life. It's a difficult place to be in, and I do not envy those who have to live both sides of the fence. However, I do find it amusing when people talk about his/her marriages and then in the next blog profess undying love for his/her online lover.

The people who carry on on line affairs and refuse to believe that it is really an affair, or cheating on his/her spouse. They come up with every justification as to why it's not 'real', but tell me, are the feelings you share with your online lover fake? Do you spout endearments that are not true? If you do, then there are other issues going on, and you are what is known as a 'player'. However, if there is an emotional connection and true feelings beyond friendship going on, then yes, I'm sorry, you are cheating on your spouse. If you sneak online hoping to chat, or engage in cyber sex, or progress to phone sex... yes you are cheating.

So why do people engage in online affairs? Why do people have affairs at all? It's basically the same thing. Someone is unhappy in his/her current marriage/relationship. Online is just an easier venue to carry out one's fantasies, engage is sexual stimulation, find intimacy, and sometimes just feel loved and wanted.

I've had an online affair, I've had a few. I've had an affair with a married man online and brought it to real life as life would allow. I realized though, that I deserved more, and as much as it broke my heart at the time, I knew I had to move on. The promises would go unmet, and if things stayed that way, I'd waste years of my life hoping for something that I knew would never happen. I am still friends with him, and to this day, almost two years later things still haven't progressed in his life. I'm glad I moved on and found something/someone that's real.

I understand the why, I really do. I guess what I'm blabbering about is the way people carry on their online affairs. I mean what ever happened to discretion?