Blogging For Kids With Disabilities

juniperus asked, thus, I did.

The blonde is my 11 year old daughter. For my sanity, she is known only by that moniker online. Actually, we call her that at home, too. She's not actually blonde anymore, but it still works.

Vicki and The BlondeVicki was weird.

I’d only heard about her from my daughter’s rambling tales of summer day care, but with the blonde girl’s stories, I figured that Vicki was an odd bird. Vicki got to day care late and left early and from what the blonde said, the other kids weren’t very nice to Vicki. Sometimes Vicki wasn’t very nice to them. The blonde and I chatted in the vaguest of terms about treating one’s friends with love and respect – and what to do if one’s friends weren’t respectful back. The rule in our house is that if someone’s mean, talk about it and if the situation doesn’t change, end the friendship.

Except that the blonde never would end that friendship. The blonde said she couldn’t end the friendship, because if she did, “Vicki didn’t always get it and if I wasn’t her friend she wouldn’t have any more friends.” Man, that annoyed the hell out of me. My thought was to teach the little brat a lesson in manners but the blonde was insistent. Thus, we worked on problem solving and communication skills. Vicki would always apologize when a teacher forced her to and the blonde, being that kind of kid, always kept at the friendship. I talked to the teachers about it and Vicki’s mom was always told about what happened. She still kept at it, though, and so did the blonde.

Sometimes the blonde would mention that it was hard to understand what Vicki wanted. It frustrated the blonde so we talked about how to find different ways to communicate. We talked about needing to use different words that mean the same thing, so we can get our friends to understand. That led to talking about how some people use different languages – and some people not using words like we did at all. That, in the way of conversations I have with the blonde, led to a long discussion on sign language and why people couldn’t hear and why some kids sounded kinda funny when they talked. The blonde got it and mentioned the book her class read about Helen Keller. I, of course, broke down into tears when we talked about her amazing teacher and how it can be so difficult to be patient and loving and how some people just never did understand that Helen Keller was still a person who deserved to BE. The blonde’s reply was, “Yeah, like some people don’t get Vicki.”

Oh.

Wait.

The blonde mind makes connections where I didn’t see them. Using the always beloved cop-out euphemism, I asked if Vicki was “special”. My answer was a hearty, “duh”. Of course Vicki was special; she was the blonde’s friend and all of the blonde’s friends were special. Determined, I asked if there was anything that made Vicki different than the other kids at day care. There was. Vicki used arm braces and she talked kinda funny.

Oh.

Vicki wasn’t weird, she was different. The other kids didn’t play with her because she was different. Trying to be delicate and a touch unsure of how to address Vicki’s differences, I asked the blonde what she thought of it all. She just shrugged. “Nothing,” was her answer. “I still like her but I have to listen a little better to understand what she says. I still like playing with her."
Well okie dokie. Since our family philosophy is “kids are kids – go play”, the blonde’s decision to keep hanging out with her friend was fine with us. We worked even harder at problem solving and communication skills – and patience. Lots of patience.

I never really addressed the specific subject of Vicki anymore and we soon moved, but those talks we had always made me think about how we as adults handle folks who weren’t put together quite the same way that I was.

My friend Deb Smith pointed out that if children are exposed to kids that have disabilities, they don’t care later on but if it’s, “at an older age, it's ‘different’, and who wants to be seen with ‘different’? The possibility of being ostracized along with the weird kid,” is just huge and grows as kids get older.

Isn’t it a parent’s responsibility to teach their kids about understanding and patience and to just BE? I kind of thought it was, but apparently, I’m in the minority. From what I understand, there are some parents who think that having a kid with disabilities in class or as a friend is going to somehow be contagious or slow their own child down. Really? Last time I looked, arm braces aren’t catching. Stupidity sure is, though. Aversion is darned contagious. Discomfort is worse than the common cold.

Not to my kid, though. Her friendship with Vicki was more important than my growlings about not letting someone be mean to her. As a young child, the blonde understood that she had to make a stand and be a friend, even if it was sometimes hard – even if she had to learn new ways of being a friend to do so.

For more information and links to other blogs about kids, living with kids with disabilities, juniperus is your gal.

New contest on The Masque

The Masque has something exquisite and unique and, well, quite awesome to offer its members this month. We have an autographed copy of an anthology of scary stories, featuring our own friend, member, and published author, April Gray. April is a long time author of Harry Potter fanfic.

Northern Haunts is a compilation of what has been said to be the best of the best for scary stories. Set in New England, this anthology has 100 short stories filled with campfire tales that are sure to send a chill or two up and down your spine.

Now, here’s the easy part, all you have to do is upload your photos, drawings, stories, poems, recipes in any and all parts of the site, including The Masque, The WIKtT Archives and associated galleries. New chapters to existing stories, new stories and added chapters, a new poem and a drawing, everything and anything counts. You absolutely can’t beat that. Now there is one catch. All work has to be uploaded BY Midnight on All Hallows’ Eve- so that’s 11:59 p.m. Pacific Time so there’s no confusion.

Story validation will be turned on for the duration of this contest for counting purposes only; all works will be validated as soon as the counts are made (this means that your story will not show up until an admin lets it through). Counts/validation will be done several times per day at the discretion of the admins. Several of the newly uploaded stories will be Featured.

Odds of winning are completely and entirely dependent upon the number of works uploaded. The Masque, all volunteers, and authors are not responsible for any works not uploaded, but claimed to be. If you’re having trouble, contact the administrator.

Good Luck!

Now opening - some damned good books.

Opening in your town on Friday night. It's already open here, lol. Pic snitched from my LJ flist.

In other news, I'm flu-ish and still hiding in a corner reading good books.

I'm currently reading... erm ... devouring:

Lora Leigh - The Breeds are wonderful and oh-so-maleDom-ish, the Nauti's are purr-worthy and generally everything else is awesomely graphic. I have a ton of her ebooks and they are generally excellent with a few standouts on either side of the "really really good" line. She's good for smut and inspiring for personal hygiene (why, yes, I did get rewaxed and re-pierced, thanks for asking. No, it really doesn't hurt unless I smack into a doorway as I am wont to do four or five times per day). Have extra batteries and a towel ready. Seriously. Both paranormal and contemporary - read the backs so you know what you're getting into. I have discovered that I think a threesome/moresome every once in a while would be lovely, but all the time gets tedious.

Lynn Viehl - The Darkyns - awesome universe building with generally good vampires and Catholic priests as the bad guys. A tad heavy on the secondary story, but I do care about it. There's less sex and they aren't as graphic as others are, but they are some good stories with a well-built verse. I'm not finished with them yet and did read a review that the last book of the series leaves too many questions unanswered. Hopes for answers with new, related series coming out. If you're a practicing Catholic, you might want to step away slowly. As a recovering Catholic, I was angered, touched, and saddened.

Lori Foster - I slammed through the MMA fighters and wish for more of these guys (well, that didn't sound quite as I meant it on the reread "Books good. Read Fast. More please") is what I meant. I'm enjoying her short story collections. Not a single paranormal bone in her body. Refreshing, sweet, piquant, and amusing - like a chilled reisling.

some ancient Ann Maxwell sci-fi's. Yeah, did you know she wrote them? No, not the Fire Dancer ones. Older. Yeah, neither did I.

JR Ward - we need to have a sit down and have a chat about the declining amount of romance you're writing. There may be smiting involved. Good... could be better. Her potential is sooooo there. I've seen it. I've fondled it. I've petted it. Let's chat. This attitude must change or I'll stop buying your books.

some ancient Jayne Ann Krentz - and am bitter about having a misprinted Candlelight romance. I can't find a value on a Krentz misprint so I can pawn it off on someone who wants a book that jumps from page 64 to 81. I think it's going to recycling. This pains me.

Christina Dodd - the Chosen Ones are shaping up to be as lovely as the Darkness Chosen books. I'm digging the universe expansion. Great universe building, lovely fantasy, great action. Her non-paranormal contemporaries are also great, frequently in some darned good suspense-land, where even I can't guess whodunnit all the time. I'm delving into her historicals today.

Christine Warren - *sighs* dearest Christine, where would I be without you? Sad. I would be so sad. As it is, I am deeply amused that you changed a scene in Graham and Missy's ebook when you rewrote it for paper so it was more consumer friendly and less utterly brainmelting. The rewrite was awesome, but I do miss that scene. For those of you that like paranormal romance - please, do yourself a favor and get the Christine Warren books.Some ebooks are available on Elloras Cave but most now only live on my harddrive. Don't read the backs. Don't worry about the order (though it is slightly helpful). Just get them and set aside a weekend. And sit on a towel, especially for the Epubs.

Jessica Andersen - The Final Prophecy series. Again, some very good universe building centered on the Mayan myth that the world will be ending in 2012. (Actually slightly heavy on the verse building because it does pack a LOT of information in just a few pages). Good action/suspense with a heavy paranormal edge. Go in ready to soak in information - and remember it. Good romance with folks who may or may not always be someone you'd like to be friends with. The men have actual doubts about themselves that can and do prevent them from moving forward with what they need to do - such a refreshing change, though I frequently want to smack them. Less sex, more action.

Bought two more bookcases. I am in heaven.